How charisma feels

Hugely attractive, even when ugly.

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Sex and the City cast.

I love observing what makes certain people effortlessly magnetic.

Especially now, as I’m a real estate agent.

What is it that makes you lean in when they speak, wanting their validation or simply their company?

I’ve boiled it down to this:

Charismatic people are fluid with status.

They don’t seek status, but they don’t avoid it either.

In any situation, they have a sense of safety within themselves.

They are comfortable regardless of what others say or do.

They can be teased and laugh at themselves. They can even be cringe and not care. They talk about their strengths and shortcomings with equal vulnerability.

There's a spaciousness in interactions with them because they demand nothing of you.

There are no hidden agendas. No quietly desperate neediness wrapped in charm. You have nothing they lack because they’re whole within themselves.

Charismatic people adapt effortlessly to different personalities and situations precisely because of their status fluidity.

Their emotional states are steady and regulated, allowing them to meet others exactly where they are.

This is why charismatic people are charismatic to many people. They have a presence and openness that put everyone at ease, regardless of personality or situation.

Being truly seen by someone who isn’t consumed by their own insecurities creates a high — it feels deeply validating and exhilarating.

The allure of charisma is profound because it taps into our deepest aspirations: we all want to feel good about who we are.

Charismatic people show us what that looks like.

That’s why we’re attracted to them.