Why this person triggers me

Because they have my potential. They are a clue to the life I want.

Hey 👋 I’m Tanya Mimi & this is predominantly a space for slash careerists who want to escape the limits of conventional work and build a life that reflects their true selves. Occasionally, I write personal observations like this one— pop your email below to ensure you receive my posts.

I'm naturally a selfish person.

Not in the sense that I don’t consider others, but in the sense that I put my own needs first.

No one needs to remind me to put on my own oxygen mask before helping others.

I'm driven by self-contentment, not duty. Some might label this as selfish, but I see it as self-prioritisation.

I'm at peace with this part of myself, which is why I also accept selfishness in others.

I don't expect anyone to prioritise my needs over theirs, and in turn, I don't prioritise theirs over mine.

I see this kind of selfishness as honest, human, and self-aware. It's a foundation that allows me to be a good friend, a successful employee/business owner, and a supportive partner.

Some of my closest friends are selfish, too.

"I've had enough, I'm going home," or "Sorry, I can't come to your party, I have yoga," are candid phrases in my circle.

There's no pretense or resentment, just almost comical straightforwardness.

However,

a friend of mine, who is notoriously selfish herself, recently got triggered by me.

She lashed out, saying, "You only think about yourself, you're so childish!"

She got triggered because she saw qualities in me that she disliked about herself. I represented what she wishes she wasn't.

If someone triggers you, it's because they reflect a part of you that you don’t like about yourself.

What isn’t part of us, doesn’t disturb us. We don’t even notice it.

We are mirrors to each other. If you spot it, you got it.

Her outburst triggered something in me, too