How meditation killed my ambition — and what I discovered instead
Can you be grateful for what you have and still want more?
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Something interesting happened to me last week.
I was blissfully meditating at my local Buddhist centre, feeling an unsettling peace… no worries about the past, no anxieties about the future.
When I opened my eyes, I wanted for nothing. I had no ambitions, no concept of the future.
I didn’t even feel a need to move or get up. It was unnerving, to be honest.
I decided to lean into this stillness, and instead of tackling my to-do list for the day, I had this wild idea to do nothing.
Which, as it turned out when I got home, meant slipping into a gloriously hot bath, putting on a cheesy rom-com, and spending the rest of the day with books and snacks.
As I reveled in this stolen day of peace, I felt a creeping worry:
"Can you afford this kind of luxury, this level of letting go? Aren’t there things you’re meant to be doing?"
Then came an even more frightening thought:
"If I start enjoying my life exactly as it is, will I lose my drive to build a better one? Will I become this permanently contented blob, happily marinating in lukewarm bath water?"