Anti-consumerist Christmas: spent skinny and alone
Human connection doesn’t have to come from family.
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I love Christmas, but not in the way you’re supposed to.
I don’t bake mince pies, eat turkey, buy presents, or put up a tree.
For me, Christmas isn’t really about the day or even a family, it’s about the feeling — that giddy anticipation that lingers from childhood when you still believed in the magic.
That Christmas feeling always seems to come up in the most random moments:
Driving home for Christmas on the highway when Chris Rea’s Driving Home for Christmas comes up on the radio.
Watching a young man crossing the Seine River with a bouquet of daffodils in hand, and someone calling out to him: “Are you looking to get lucky?” Without missing a beat, he shouts back, “No, I think I’m in love!” (this actually happened one Christmas in Paris, out of all places)
Watching a stranger offer a small, beautiful act of kindness and feeling the world soften for a moment.
You don’t have to “do” Christmas to feel it. Sometimes, just watching others do it is enough.
So for me, Christmas is a time when I do things that bring me joy and skip the ones I don’t.
Talking of which …
I don’t do gift exchanges
It’s just that I don’t care much for stuff, and neither do the people closest to me.
My Estonian girlfriends and I do a “joke gift exchange,” where we gift stuff we find lying around at home that we don’t use.
It’s free, it’s funny, and it’s planet-friendly. Plus, nobody has to pretend to love it.
But if gifts matter to you, go for it. They’re just not how I give or receive love. My love language is quality time.
My partner’s love language is acts of service. So if I want to make her feel loved, I’ll cook dinner, clean up, and let her chill out.
If she wants to make me feel loved, she plans something fun for us to do together, followed by a dinner in a cosy restaurant.
If you’ve never heard of 5 love languages, it’s a game changer for relationships. Too often, we show love in the way we want to receive it, but that’s not always what the other person wants.
Understanding someone’s love language takes out the guesswork. It helps you communicate love in a way that truly lands for them—whether that’s quality time, acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, or words of affirmation.
I lose weight at Christmas
Big dry bird, beige sides, sticky pudding—no thanks. I’ll take a bowl of fragrant pho instead.
When there’s too much food on display and all this pressure to eat, I lose my appetite just looking at it. Even when I cook, the smell alone is enough to leave me full before I’ve even started eating.
Oddly enough, I find myself working out more in winter, which contributes to weight loss. The cold, dark days somehow leave fewer distractions, and exercise feels like the best way to lift the gloom.
Summers are all about lounging in the park, grazing on crisps and hummus as the sun sets, which is probably why I end up heavier by the end of it.
Winter me is just more disciplined — because there’s not much else to do.
I sometimes spend Christmases alone, travelling
I love my family, but Christmas isn’t about forced proximity. Over the years, I’ve spent Christmas in sun-soaked Sydney, wandering snowy Amsterdam alone, and people-watching in Paris.
One of my favourite things in the world is being an observer, not a participant. It’s why I love reading novels and watching films. They let you step into someone else’s world for a while without having to actually be in it. You get all the entertainment, but none of the pressure to perform or take part.
That’s what travelling alone does, too.
One Christmas in Amsterdam, I met Kara, a Bulgarian solo traveller. We spent the days wandering through markets and the nights laughing until our stomachs hurt in the city’s weed cafés. We never stayed in touch, but I’ll never forget her.
Moments like this remind us that human connection doesn’t have to come from family.
It can come from people you’ll never see again, but who will stay with you forever.
Merry Christmas — whatever you do and whoever you’re with 🎄
What Christmas traditions bring you joy, and which ones have you opted out of?
Many and merry Xmas wishes to you too Tanya! 🎄 I totally feel that with observing... the anonymity you feel is so freeing.
Lately it's been doing things slightly different too. Listening to different music and eating different foods. This feels like a permission slip to do things even more different!